The Beauty of Vulnerability

It was suggested to me to watch a video called The Power of Vulnerability as it is told by Brene Brown.  It is on YouTube and is about 20 minutes long.  The talk inspires lots of food for thought and was enlightening in many ways.

Brene Brown talks about how life is messy and uncomfortable at times and you can't fix it. You have to live it, experience it, and feel it.  She was a researcher who learned that people lived for a sense of connection with others and that people fell into one of two categories: those who had a sense of worthiness of that connection and those who struggled for it.  She dove further to look at what the people who believed they were worthy of connection had that the others didn't and it came down to courage and vulnerability. 

Although the talk is about vulnerability, I left with a new perception of what courage is.  She looked at the Latin root and first meaning of the word which was to tell a story with your whole heart.  It must be very moving and fulfilling to always speak with your whole heart.  It must also be very courageous to do so. These people with self-worth or the people that were more content and happy had the courage to know that they were imperfect and to be imperfect.  She also says that they let go of who they thought they should be and became the people that they are.  I have a hard time with this last statement.  I feel that we are always striving to be better. I think we always try to attain a level of what we want to be. 

As far as the importance of vulnerability, Brene states that the people who felt worthy of connection embraced moments of vulnerability, That embracing those messy moments and allowing yourself to really feel them allowed for a birthplace for joy, love, and a sense of belonging.  Although those people did not say that vulnerability was comfortable, they deemed it necessary.  A priest told me not too long ago the we have to allow ourselves to feel life; otherwise we will miss out on feeling when God's grace comes to us.  I understood this as having to feel ALL things at all times.  If you numb the bad things in life and numb the feelings of vulnerability, you will numb the good things as well. 

She concludes that we need to love with our whole hearts with no expectations in return, that we should be grateful even in moments of catastrophe, that we should let ourselves be deeply seen by others and that we should believe that we are enough. 

My favorite words were: you are imperfect and wired for struggle and worthy of love and belonging.  I took this not really about myself but for those around me.  I thought do I make those that I love, especially my husband, feel like even though they have imperfections and struggles galore, do I make them feel worthy of love and connection? Do I bring my husband up to feel like the man he is? Do I make my husband feel like he is enough? And what can I do to make my husband have a strong feeling of worth and belonging? I realized that I have to feel vulnerability and put myself out there, with my heart on my sleeve, to fortify my bonds of love for my husband, thus strengthening both of our sense of worthiness and of love, true love.