The Joy of Sunflowers

Upon returning from our trip, a cheery surprise greeted us on the kitchen counter...

~Thank You Husband~

 

The Joy of Thoughtfulness

Brought home by my husband

Taken from our friends' yard while helping them move

The Importance of Marriage

"Today, possibly the greatest act of love for the unborn that you could make is striving your utmost to heal and promote and maintain and provide for and respect marriage.

Know that your own marriage is good for the whole community. Every person you know -- and many you will never see -- benefit from your fidelity, your struggle, your resolve to love and honor your spouse. Your sufferings are a fitting incense rising to God -- they are not in vain.

When you appreciate your husband as the protector and provider of this safe haven for you and your children, you help the unborn.

When he loves and protects you and your children, he offers society a church in miniature -- a sanctuary -- and babies everywhere are safer.

Every person can love and respect marriage, God's plan, by his acts. Be convinced that marriage will heal society, and then act accordingly. "

A Day of Penance and Prayer - Leila

The Beauty of Breakfast in Bed

Breakfast in bed, a nice way to let someone know you appreciate having them in your life...

For My Husband

 

 

 

and a spure of the moment napkin fold

 

 

My husband said I should call it The Rose.

 

 

 

What's something you've done recently to let your spouse know you care?

A Zoo Date

Husband treated to me to date:

Brunch at a Cafe Restaurant that has the look of a breakfast joint but the menu of a diner. He knows how much I like variety and options. Then a surprise trip to the zoo. It was nice to be able to walk around, talk together and laugh together. Zoo patterns...

The Beauty of Vulnerability

It was suggested to me to watch a video called The Power of Vulnerability as it is told by Brene Brown.  It is on YouTube and is about 20 minutes long.  The talk inspires lots of food for thought and was enlightening in many ways.

Brene Brown talks about how life is messy and uncomfortable at times and you can't fix it. You have to live it, experience it, and feel it.  She was a researcher who learned that people lived for a sense of connection with others and that people fell into one of two categories: those who had a sense of worthiness of that connection and those who struggled for it.  She dove further to look at what the people who believed they were worthy of connection had that the others didn't and it came down to courage and vulnerability. 

Although the talk is about vulnerability, I left with a new perception of what courage is.  She looked at the Latin root and first meaning of the word which was to tell a story with your whole heart.  It must be very moving and fulfilling to always speak with your whole heart.  It must also be very courageous to do so. These people with self-worth or the people that were more content and happy had the courage to know that they were imperfect and to be imperfect.  She also says that they let go of who they thought they should be and became the people that they are.  I have a hard time with this last statement.  I feel that we are always striving to be better. I think we always try to attain a level of what we want to be. 

As far as the importance of vulnerability, Brene states that the people who felt worthy of connection embraced moments of vulnerability, That embracing those messy moments and allowing yourself to really feel them allowed for a birthplace for joy, love, and a sense of belonging.  Although those people did not say that vulnerability was comfortable, they deemed it necessary.  A priest told me not too long ago the we have to allow ourselves to feel life; otherwise we will miss out on feeling when God's grace comes to us.  I understood this as having to feel ALL things at all times.  If you numb the bad things in life and numb the feelings of vulnerability, you will numb the good things as well. 

She concludes that we need to love with our whole hearts with no expectations in return, that we should be grateful even in moments of catastrophe, that we should let ourselves be deeply seen by others and that we should believe that we are enough. 

My favorite words were: you are imperfect and wired for struggle and worthy of love and belonging.  I took this not really about myself but for those around me.  I thought do I make those that I love, especially my husband, feel like even though they have imperfections and struggles galore, do I make them feel worthy of love and connection? Do I bring my husband up to feel like the man he is? Do I make my husband feel like he is enough? And what can I do to make my husband have a strong feeling of worth and belonging? I realized that I have to feel vulnerability and put myself out there, with my heart on my sleeve, to fortify my bonds of love for my husband, thus strengthening both of our sense of worthiness and of love, true love.

The Beauty of a Wine Walk

My husband and I have been on a mini kick of surprising each other with dates.  This past Friday I surprised my husband with a wine walk.  All the little shops and businesses on Main St. of a neighboring town were open, catering hors d'oeuvres and hosting to local wineries.  Each store hosted at least one winery with more than one wine to try.  Here were our tries with our "connoisseur" descriptions.

Kyra Wines

Pinot Noir

Not too bold. Smooth. Nice.

Viognier*

My Favorite. Clear. Refreshing. Easy. Smooth.

Chardonnay

No remark.

Forbidden White

Blend. Sweet. Wet. Easy Down.

Cabernet Franc

No remark.

Viognier

No remark.

Riverenza

Blend of Syrah & Merlot. Full.

Barbera*

Husband's Favorite. Starts tart, ends sweet.

Mistura Blanco

Cool. Fresh. Oaky.

Cabernet Sauvignon

Flavorful.

Riesling

Not too sweet. Refreshing.

Merlot

Leaves mouth cottony. Cotton went away when paired with chicken sausage.

Pinos Gris

Cool with soft aftertaste.

Fortissimo

Syrah based blend. Tangy. Sweet.

Intrigue

Merlot based blend. Tasted that same as the Fortissimo.

Malbec

Bold. Powerful. Dryish.

Sangiovese

Nothing to write home about.

I always knew that I knew nothing about wine, but this wine walk accentuated that point.  It was difficult enough to try and describe the wines without reusing the same words over and over again.  Nevertheless, I enjoyed pretending to know how to describe each wine that swirled in my mouth, because I did swirl. As you can see the most well thought out descriptions were "no remark" and "nothing to write home about."  The wines that had no remarks, I'm not sure what happened.  I wrote as we walked and sipped so somehow along the way, those wines got overlooked. 

The whole experience was novel to us and a pleasant first.  It will hopefully not be our a last wine walk. 

A Word About Love

Love does not grow or become grand suddenly or appear on its own, but demands time and constant nurturing.

A Word About Love

Empress Alexandra Feodorovna



The Beauty of Praise

Why Speaking Well of Your Spouse Is So Important

By Michael Hyatt, Chairman of a Christian Publishing Company

As a leader, the health of your marriage directly affects the impact of your leadership. I have witnessed this time and time again. Being effective at work or in ministry begins by being effective at home.

Early in our marriage, Gail and I attended a church led by a dynamic, thirty-something pastor. He was an extraordinary communicator. He was a wise and empathetic counselor. As a result, the church grew rapidly.

But as we got better acquainted with him and his wife, we started noticing a disturbing trend in the way they related to one another. They would often make disparaging remarks about the other in public.
At first, it seemed cute. Their comments seemed playful and humorous. Everyone laughed. But over time, they became more and more pointed, thinly masking their frustration with one another.
We ultimately left that church. But several years later we learned they suffered an ugly divorce, both admitting to multiple affairs. They lost their family, and, of course, their ministry. To this day, it grieves me to think about it.
Conversely, I noticed that Sam Moore, my predecessor at Thomas Nelson, always spoke highly of his wife. He would often say, “I hate to leave her in the morning, and I can’t wait to see her in the evening.” They have been married now for nearly 60 years. Last time Gail and I were with them, they were holding hands. It was obvious they were still in love.
In reflecting on these two experiences, I am convinced that praising your spouse in public is one of the most important investments you can make—in your family and in your leadership.
This is important for at least five reasons:

1. You get more of what you affirm. Have you ever noticed that when someone praises you, you want to repeat the behavior that caused it? This is just human nature. It can be a form of manipulation if it isn’t genuine. But it can be a powerful way to motivate others when it is authentic.
2. Affirmation shifts your attitude toward your spouse. Words are powerful tools. They can create, or they can destroy. They can build up, or they can tear down. I believe most people have a drive to align their actions—and their attitudes—with their words. If you start speaking well of someone, you start believing what you say.
3. Affirmation helps strengthen your spouse’s best qualities. Encouragement is also a powerful force for good. All of us need positive reinforcement. This is why when we are losing weight and people notice, it gives us the strength to stick with the program. This is true in every area of life.
4. Affirmation wards off the temptation of adultery. When others see you are happily married, they are less likely to proposition you. It’s like a hedge that protects your marriage from would-be predators. You simply stop being a target.
5. Affirmation provides a model to those you lead. To be a truly effective leader, you must lead yourself, and then you must lead your family. Your marriage is a powerful visual of how you treat the people you value the most. When you speak highly of your spouse, your followers are more likely to trust you. It takes your leadership to another level.

Affirming your spouse in public is an investment that pays big leadership dividends. In a world where fewer and fewer marriages last, it can be a difference-maker.

The Beauty of Feeling Whole

I come to visit my husband at my in-laws.  His Lenten hours are long with services every day and night.  Thus he spends his nights a walk away from church so that I may have the car to drive to work. I walk into his room and see the papers, the clothes, the books, the shoes.  Some are his things and some are not.  Order is what he needs to keep his days running smoothly.  So I start to organize and tidy.

He wakes up early, 6 am, to jog in the chilled morning.  He lifts heavy weights to sculpt the muscles in his arms and back.  So I start to knead the knots away.

Punctuality is important when coming to the choir.  The support is a much needed comfort.  It is easy to take a little longer in getting ready, sleep a little longer in my cozy bed.  But not this week.  So I get my things together the night before and I come at the right time. 

And once you nurture your loved one's love a moment is created. Two pieces are interwoven into one again.

The Beauty of Thoughtfulness

This week I made a goal to do things that would make my husband happy through his love sensors.  Although I tried and did accomplish a few tasks I think my husband's thoughtfulness takes the cake, this week.

Husband stopped by randomly at work to drop off a bouquet of roses telling me he missed me. 
~Sitting in a large room waiting for our company meeting to start, all us women and three men, were chatting about the usual.  Sometimes sharing information about who's spouse does what to fulfill their wife's need for emotional support and recognition .  In walks my husband carrying a bright bouquet of roses. The astounding "Awwwww" emanating from the onlookers was deafening for a split second.  I think Husband's original goal was to sneak in and leave unnoticed.  He delivered his package, gave me a kiss, just one, and as he was walking out a voice resounded from our audience "I'm telling Johnny about this!"

My favorite is Pad Thai and I LOVE ginger. Problem is, Husband hates ginger and he likes to make his own sauce consisting of peanut butter and balsamic vinegar.  It tastes slightly different from the restaurant Pad Thai.  Currently we have a box of rice noodles waiting to be made into Pad Thai this lent.  However we're just never in the mood for it at the same time, or more like in the same way.  So the other day, Husband surprised me with a sauce JUST for me: a combination of ginger and peanut. The excitement to try it is bubbling!

The time is wrong on the phone. I do not work that late at night.

Husband also took the time out of his busy Lenten church schedule to check up on me when I wasn't feeling well at work. 

"Love can do all things, and if it ceases to be generous and sharing it is no longer love."
-St. Gregory the Great

Love Through Love Sensors

I thought blogging and blogs were stupid. A very profound word, I know.  I'm still not fully convinced how I feel about keeping a blog.  However, in discovering blogs I have already learned from others' and maybe that's just the point.  Reading some body's page and thinking "I'm not the only one!" or "Gees, maybe I should try that!"  I'm also realizing that the goals I outlined for myself for this coming year are not that exciting and maybe not pinpointing exactly what it is that needs changing in my life. 

If I'm going to identify the areas in my life that need attention or positive change in a general sense it would be:

1. My spiritual relationship with God
2. My marriage and relationship with my husband
3. My physical well-being/health

So, new plan or more like amendment to original plan:
In addition to working on previously outlined goals, add weekly "tidbit" goals.
This week's tidbit will be: Surprise husband with something he likes/wants

After reading Preserve Them, O Lord by Father John Mack, on a long car ride driving cross-country soon after our wedding, my husband and I quickly realized that we have different love sensors.  I prefer solicitude: being concerned about opinions, feelings, interests, desires, likes, and dislikes.  My husband prefers physical affection, frequent kissing, hugging, holding hands.  So much so that typically when I get a kiss, it is never just one kiss. It is always at least 3 to 5 quick ones in a row.  I prefer communicating with words and expressing admiration.  My husband prefers companionship and spending time together.  Although all of these are wonderful attributes to have combined in a marriage, I must say it is difficult for me to remember to show my husband love through his love sensors and not my own. 



My mother, as most mothers do, wants the best for all her children and will forever nurture us in as many ways as she can.  As a result one of her gifts to my husband and myself was After the Honeymoon: How to Maintain a Happy Marriage by Peter Kalellis.  We have not completed reading this book but have found comfort in its pages, whether from the content or just participating in a calming activity together I am as yet unsure.  Here are some helpful advices the book has to offer a wife:

• Admire your husband's achievements.
• Keep you "honey-do" list down. Show him thanks for things he accomplishes on the list.
• Don't second guess him in front of others.
• Ask him how you can be more pleasing.
• Handle his male ego with care.
• Accept him as he is. Change yourself.
• Get rid of habits that annoy him.
• Make a point to pay special attention to him.
• Thank him for his contribution to your household.
• Call him if you are going to be late.
• If you give him something to read that is important to you, don't nag him to read it.

"Marriage is more than human.  It is a micro-kingdom, a miniature kingdom, which is the little house of the Lord." - St. Clement of Alexandria